Is Your Child Not OK in School?
When your child is struggling in school or resisting going, it can feel incredibly stressful as a parent. Besides worrying about your child's emotional well-being, you might also experience feelings of blame or criticism from school or other parents. Unfortunately, you are not alone in this situation. Persistent school non-attendance is common and growing in concern.
School Avoidance in Numbers
According to data collected by the Department for Education in the 2023/24 academic year, 19.2% of all pupil enrollments were identified as persistent absentees (see https://explore-education-statistics.service.gov.uk/find-statistics/pupil-absence-in-schools-in-england). These students missed 10% or more of their possible school sessions. This statistic highlights that many children face challenges in attending school regularly, so if your child is among them, you're not the only parent dealing with this.
School avoidance, often referred to as emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA), can arise from a variety of factors. These can include anxiety, bullying, academic struggles, or family-related issues. Understanding the root cause of your child's school reluctance is the first step in addressing the issue.
Why is Your Child Struggling?
As parents, the key challenge is often understanding why your child doesn’t want to attend school. The causes are typically multifactorial, meaning several different factors may be influencing your child's emotional state. These can range from school-related anxiety to personal or family struggles.
Dr. Jerricah Holder, an educational psychologist who is passionately involved with the development of training and guidelines on EBSA (see https://www.edpsyched.co.uk/ebsa-horizons), has provided a framework to help both parents and schools better understand emotionally based school avoidance. This framework can be useful in identifying factors that contribute to and maintain the child's difficulties, while also recognising factors that can strengthen the child’s resilience.
Risk Factors: What Contributes to School Avoidance?
Dr. Holder's framework suggests that risk factors influencing school avoidance can be divided into three key areas: the child, the family, and the school environment.
1. The Child's Internal Challenges
For example, a child who is suffering from social anxiety, generalised anxiety, or low mood may find the social and academic pressures of school overwhelming.
2. Home-Related Factors
For example, significant family stressors like financial issues, illness, or separation may contribute to their reluctance to attend school.
3. School Environment Factors
For example, a child who is feeling unsafe in school, due to issues such as bullying, social exclusion, or online harassment.
Resilience Factors: What Helps Your Child Cope?
Just as risk factors can contribute to avoidance, resilience factors can help your child manage their challenges and thrive in school. Dr. Holder’s framework highlights some ways parents and educators can build resilience across the same three areas.
1. Supporting your Child
For example, finding ways to spark interest and motivation in attending school by focusing on their strengths. This could involve extracurricular activities, subjects they enjoy, or social opportunities they look forward to.
2. Family/ Home
For example, creating a consistent daily routine can provide a sense of security and predictability. Simple habits, such as consistent bedtimes, morning routines, and family meals, can help children feel more grounded.
3. School Environment
For example, having a supportive relationship with at least one teacher can build resilience. Schools can facilitate this by offering mentoring or additional pastoral support.
How to Get Support for Your Child
If your child is avoiding school and showing signs of distress, here are some steps you can take to start addressing the issue:
1. Talk to Your Child’s School
Your first step should be to communicate with your child's teacher, pastoral lead or head of year. Collaboration between home and school is crucial for supporting your child effectively.
2. Request an Educational Psychologist
It may be helpful to request an assessment from an educational psychologist. They can work with the school to put in place individualised strategies for supporting your child.
3. Seek Professional Therapeutic Support
In some cases, a child might benefit from working with a therapist or counselor outside of school. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for children struggling with anxiety. A therapist can help your child develop the skills they need to manage their emotions and cope with school-related stress.
4. Take Small Steps Back to School
Returning to school after a long absence can be overwhelming, so it’s important to create a gradual plan that works for your child. This may involve shorter school days, attending specific classes first, or even virtual learning as a stepping stone.
Final Thoughts
If your child is not OK in school, it’s important to acknowledge that this is a common issue and that there are steps you can take to support them. The road to overcoming emotionally based school avoidance is not always easy, but with the right understanding, patience, and professional help, your child can regain their confidence and enjoy school once again.
By considering both risk and resilience factors, working closely with the school, and fostering a supportive home environment, you can help your child overcome the challenges they face.
For further information on Dr Holder's training on EBSA, see https://www.edpsyched.co.uk/ebsa-horizons
