Reconnecting with your Teen Over Christmas: 5 Tips for Strengthening your Bond

Are you feeling distant from your teenage child and hoping that Christmas might give you an opportunity to reconnect, but you are unsure how? This article will provide you with 5 actionable tips to help you.

Why can connecting with your teen feel so challenging?

During adolescence teens are busy working out who they are and where they fit in the world. This necessarily involves them pulling away to enable them to test out different identities, beliefs and values to see what fits. They might reject your advice or push against your attempts to spend time with them and this feels so hard as a parent! Despite the push-pull, your relationship and the love you have for them remains super important.

Tip 1: Meet them where they are

Respect their need for space. Don’t insist they participate in every family activity. Instead, invite them to join on their own terms. Going into their world and engaging with them in their space is a great way to have fun together, and you never know, you might learn something new! Whether it’s gaming, TikTok trends, or music you don’t understand, take the time to learn about their world. By showing genuine interest and respect for their autonomy, you create a safe environment for connection.

Tip 2: Plan Activities you know they will enjoy

Maybe your teen has outgrown some of the family traditions (and if you are anything like me, you will want to desperately hang onto them anyway!). Consider creating some new, more grown up one’s. For example, have a movie night or binge watch a series together. Or do some Christmas baking or go ice-skating. Maybe you could both try something new together!

Tip 3: Carve out some one to one time

There may be other children to consider, or other family members who need your time and support. However, giving your teen you undivided attention, even if only for an hour or two can really help to reconnect you. This could involve running an errand together (so you get stuff done at the same time!), taking the dog for a walk or just having an end of day catch up with a cuppa.

Tip 4: Share Christmas stories and reminisce together

Teen’s may be on a fast quest for independence, but the child part of them is still there! Chatting about memories from Christmases past, looking at their home made Christmas decorations together or cards they made for you when they were 7 can be a lovely way to reconnect. This shared reflection creates a sense of belonging and family tradition for both of you. 

Tip 5: Aim for imperfection

Try to let go of the pressure you’re placing on yourself to have that perfectly wonderful Christmas. Your teen may decide they have plans with their friends when you were hoping for some time together, this is ok! There may be some fall outs or times they want to just be in their bedroom. Having some acceptance for what is, making alternative plans when needed and allowing yourself to enjoy some time to yourself when your teen is busy will take some of the stress out.

Closing Thoughts

Reconnecting with your teen over Christmas doesn’t require big gestures or a perfectly orchestrated holiday. It’s about showing up, being present, and creating moments of connection, no matter how small. By meeting your teen where they are, embracing imperfection, and focusing on shared experiences, you can strengthen your bond and create lasting memories.

If you found this article helpful, consider sharing it with other parents who might be experiencing similar concerns.

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